I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
