she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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