Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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