sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
