So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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