We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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