This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
