K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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