I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize