then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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