very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
