Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's official drugs can't kill me
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
