ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
