If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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