We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
