I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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