The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
