Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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