ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
