It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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