So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
