I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
