So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
