I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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