I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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