Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
