also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
