whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This toilet bowl is my home.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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