I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
