my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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