I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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