ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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