would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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