And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
