every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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