Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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