the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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