sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If i come over, it means nothing
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
