Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
