New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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