Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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