Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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