He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
