Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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