Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
