so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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