How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
