Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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