If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
