i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
