worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
they're like a gay fantastic four
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
