so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
