She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
