You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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