your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
