I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
