No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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