idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
