i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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