at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize