I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
