arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
