We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
