i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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