He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Such a big mess for such a small penis
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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