How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
