Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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