So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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