She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize