Will you blow on my dice?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
