I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
