Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
