She's JV to your varsity
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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