Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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