Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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