So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
