Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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