Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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